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  1. Beefcake Madness

From the recordings Beefcake Madness and Beefcake Madness

The title tune intends to evoke a sense of masculinity... of a posturing muscularity... that and premature ejaculation. With a sweaty repeat and fade.
 

Lyrics

I'm a beefcake fantasy
in a world that only a boy can see 
We know who knows who can save its day
The wankie boys will show the way 
Yee-Hah…

We are the fearsome supermen
(or, sperm 'n eu)
and nothing can brake our stride 
Come and join our cheesecake revelry
Find a place in the big machinery
Come and reap the harvest of our shared belief
in the ever-righteous everlasting madness of beef 

I am so beefy and roasted with fire
that licks and tickles and makes me laugh
Got a head full of steam and blood full of wood
it's so sensational I gotta laugh
It burns and tickles and freezes and hurts
so don't make me laugh
I said stop laughing 

We are the fearsome supermen
and no dame can make us cry
Yee-Hah!!

 Madness is Sensational Sensational Telling us what to do (Sperm 'n eu)
Quiet those big-mouthed shirty dames (then who can say )
Who look right past our view 
Buddy we can help you bag a chick
Cuz here there's a place for every dick
come join with us in our shared belief
in the ever-righteous everlasting madness of beef 

Of course we are the supermen
(Sperm 'n eu)
above and beyond the rest
(Nancy boys)
don't put da rules to the test
(don't f*ck with us)
cuz we have to live together 

Are you a girly-man?
No, I am the bestest boy
Are you a Nancy-boy?
No, I am the bestest boy
Is that a clanging sound?
Yes, as they swing and sway
Does mommy hold them to the ground?  No, I'm gonna do what the big boys say
Some says those balls will have to die
No, I think my balls can touch the sky 

The madness we will never face
The mythos we will clutch in place
Mysteries we will never know
Where the blood will never go 

It burns and tickles and freezes and hurts.but we have to live together
 It's Sensational!
Sen-sen-sational! 
I am the leg-man…I am the ass-man…
And I think like a walrus
Coo-coo for cleavage 

(skit)

 The madness we will never face
The mythos we will clutch in place
Mysteries we will never know
Where the blood will never go
So the dames must never be
more than what my eyes can see 

Boobs?Did you say boobs?
Boobs!
You said boobs.
Boobs!
Count me in, lads  
Where's my Zamboni girl? 

So who's a prissy femmy wimpy girly little nancy boy?
and who's a wimpy prissy femmy faggy little girly-man?
Who's a prissy femmy wimpy girly little nancy boy?
Who's a wimpy prissy femmy faggy little girly-man?
prissy femmy wimpy girly prissy femmy faggy-boy
foamy prickly ghoulish wipey foggy gnarly minivan   
You may praise my trophy wife 

Those dames will explore the hidden frontier
Out of the woods where they can see clear
Nipping the shaft
exposing the trick 
and The Prickly Science of the Dick