Oct 2012 

Speaking of EYEBALLS, this month’s installment would be useless without them. The chosen subject would be just as useless because this time, we will have



When learning a new worship or meditation routine, the first question a modern human would ask is, “What am I suppose to do with my EYEBALLS?”

One common answer is easily observable if you peek. Many worshippers consider the moment of maximum worship to occur whilst their EYELIDS are scrinched tightly together and thus eliminating the role of their EYEBALLS altogether. This might be explained away as shutting out the perception of the base, profane and actually there world and instead, perceiving the idealized shiny hyper-reality that is already pre-recorded right there in your visual memories …as if we had tiny extra EYEBALLS inside our brains. These are, in fact, the same tiny extra EYEBALLS we will use, when our worship pays off, to see our afterlives.

That must be it, right? Wouldn’t it be a real kick in the face to get to the Pearly Gates and discover there were no tiny extra EYEBALLS? One might ask, “I thought Heaven was supposed to be a beautiful paradise full of my happy ancestors. WTF?” Saint Peter would answer, “You’ve believed up to now. Why stop? Trust me. It is.” Of course, they could just tell you it’s Heaven when it’s really just the inside of a box. But how? Tiny extra EARDRUMS? My advice, if you’re planning on a traditional afterlife, is remember to bring YOUR EYEBALLS.

Most of those forms of worship lead to custom afterlives that require years of pre-training to even know that they await you. Can you imagine the shock and surprise of reincarnation if no one had ever told you that it was suppose to happen? The whole point of an afterlife is picturing yourself and select departed loved ones in it. (Who wants to picture everyone in their afterlife?) A wide assortment of visual depictions are available with which to build a pre-afterlife simulation and in which to place your simulated after-self. Intense moments of worship can be achieved by equally scrinching the left and right EYELIDS while calling upon (NEXT cueing) your pre-installed simulation. This sounds like an extreme example and it is.

Many modern worshipful practices involve gently closing the EYELIDS and some eschew pre-fab visualizations. But, as worship goes, all the modern forms have one thing in common. They are all wrong.

Today, worship is something one does (correctly) only after the proper visualizations have been installed. Anything else would be a waste of worship juice, right? So, which came first… worship, or something to worship? The real answer is… OUR EYEBALLS.

If anyone would care to try our distant ancestors’ original form of worship, they will not need any tiny extra EYEBALLS in their brain. Just the regular ones will do and both will need to be open and stay open. WORSHIP with YOUR EYEBALLS can take two forms: static and non-static. Static is more difficult so we’ll start with that form.

Find a palm or hand sized object with a shape that is unlike anything natural at that size or something natural in small scale. Civilization should make this easy. A coffee spoon will do. Place or hold the object nearby and in your line of sight. Relax, be still and stare. Go ahead and blink… as little as necessary. Continue… shortly, things will start happening. If you hold still long enough, some of your Sub-Cinema perception will start to timer-out. Eventually, Hippo’s perception will almost entirely stop. Next, the Cinema view will begin to distort as the visual nyeeps pile up and the object becomes half-seen and half-remembered. Finally, repetition will saturate the retinal sensors themselves causing anti-colors and haloed edges. If you’re going to look any longer, it will become a Post-Cinema perception from a Libet Bridge. Should you or your distant ancestor have a Stored Narrative Charge (that is, something your brain has learned but you do not yet know in any useful way) lurking around your nyeep pool, this would be just the opportunity it was looking for. The visually-anchored bridge would be the playback device that runs the narration which is perceived and summarized into the daily-use nyeep stream just like installing a new program into a computer’s registry. If anyone still recalls the video with the girls and the gorilla suit, doing what it tells you to do makes you worship the white ball tosses.

Most humans have and still prefer the non-static form, which has the advantage of being share-able. Start with a lot candles or a campfire. Build and clad a large shiny object like say, a Golden Calf and place just above the fire where everyone can see it. The flickering reflection on the un-moving object will minimize retinal saturation but otherwise quickly produce the effects mentioned above. The Cinema view will be more easily sustained because now the image is flowing… changing instant by instant so our flowing Cinema View can lock on or sync in with the changing image. Even though there is apparent movement in the image, Hippo will eventually tire of looking at it and Sub-Cinema Perception will slow and stop. Cinema perception becomes mesmerized and cyclic. Now the object appears Post-Cinema and is ready to become the guest narrator of your own wisdom (or foolishness) that boiled up from your nyeep pool.

The downside of this experiment is that it is unlikely to do much for us. We modern types are so trained in narrative ability that we maintain our own identity with whatever narrator appears. Our untrained ancestors may have found this to be their only means of sustaining a narration self-driven or otherwise.

So, should you find yourself at a place of worship and happen to spot something with an undulating shine, remember how it all began. You can’t worship what you can’t see. 

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