Nhoj Morley


Incident #8: Sonar



The space-city is nearly complete and waiting for its final component. The Capitol Dome is to be its very top and will, for the city's Select and weightless inhabitants, indicate which way is up. Meanwhile, the Dome's inhabitants were far from weightless as it roared upward. Everyone was flattened to the floor.
Everyone except for the President, who, again not realizing the gravity of the situation, was standing upright and alone and looking into the sky. Then he realizes that someone is standing behind him. "So you're finally here at last, you loser! In conjuring you I have done what you could only have dreamed about."
"So you have" said the bust of President Reagan. Strumbozo was holding the bust in front of his face and had used the scarf to coil their shoulders into one. The voice impression was rough as he strained against the acceleration but the President seemed convinced. "Nooo, I think I wanted something very different than this. My mistake was in using the same political tools that you have been using. They can no longer be wielded without our mutually assured destruction."
The President barely looked at the President. He had his chin out and was staring defiantly into the quickly passing sky. "I see London. I see France. I can see everyone's underpants!"
It was easy for Strumbozo to slip an end of the scarf into the President's jacket pocket. "It's just Ronnie and Donny here now." Strumbozo began to slowly circle around as he spoke and slowly unraveled the scarf from around his own neck. " Tell me the truth. Did you even mean to do this?"
The President didn't seem to notice as it looped around him. "Meanings are for losers like you. I am the Apex Pants Predator. I see pants and I want to take them away. I can't help it. I took your pants away and your Shining City too. We're almost there. You will be so envious."
Now free of the scarf, Strumbozo tied the other end firmly to the bust and hurled it over the balcony and into the rushing air. In an instant, the President was yanked over the railing where he dangled from his pant leg, which had caught on the stonework. There was a ripping sound as Strumbozo reached to free him but found only the pants to grab. "I feel like Dorothy with the wicked witch's broom! Now what? I better find the Veep and see if he can stop this thing."
Meanwhile, tumbling to the shining city below, the President was furious about his poor coverage. "I will soon have fallen farther than all the Presidents who have ever lived put together. Even now, I am casting an enormous shadow on the country below. Go on… admit that I have eclipsed you!"
"There you go again" said the bust. "Now I will be remembered as the one who brought you down. Ask yourself… Is the world a safer place than it was a minute ago? "
Music Info 
Sonar was a set staple for two bands over a span of three years. The Vapors is one of its many rehearsal-night parodies.