Nhoj Morley

 

Chapter 4: Red Shift

04:50
12/25/2017

Story

Russia agrees to use the machine if they can build a counterpart for the US. Both computers are programmed with more info than any person could know. Both sides agree to switch them on at the same time. When the moment comes, both machines instantly activate their arsenals. Their displays say "SHOOT NOW! QUICK! FIRE! HURRY UP!" The pre-programmed two-minutes of doubt-time to overrule or commit starts to tick by. Everyone wonders if their computer knows something they don't. The displays say "ADVANTAGE EVAPORATING! IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED! PRESS COMMIT NOW!"  

Both sides determine that their best hope of survival is total nuclear annihilation. Each side declares exemption from accusations of madness by claiming to make only one half of the decision. Millions brace themselves for the end of everything. "The choice was not half-mad, it was half-sane."

 

Lyrics

 
Once upon a time…
 
Jimmy told us not to feed the bear
The grain stays on the farm
he said our oily debt
was a greater threat
a sweater will do less harm
Then we polled the great electorate
and Jim was cast away
next time we chose to zap them with a Reagan
 
Ronnie built us peace
peace through strength
everybody feared that 
we might take a red shift
 
Hey sailor, did you see the news?
of strutting Ruskie troop reviews
tanks rolled in Gdansk again and
the mountains of Afghanistan
Panic loomed in dangerous days
Ronnie advanced in crazy ways
Sending troops and raising flags
and putting boys in body bags
 
Will you please keep still
while the Titans cruise their nuclear destiny
With your hands tied behind your back
Tinpots for hire are paid by us the rhetoric buyers
did we sign our lives away?
 
Gorby let the wall fall down
The bombs fell too without a sound
The tanks were rolled across the bridge
and up the road to Ruby Ridge
Then they happened onto Putin Place
Now they're pu'tin' on a happy face
 
It's time to
put on our man pants
 
Are you waiting still?
Then stick around and brace yourself for war
It isn't MAD anymore
locked behind our bunker door
we got the nukes to settle the score
When the time comes to hit the floor
 
Nyet! Who left open
the Windows of vulnerability?
 
A little man whispered
"Come and dance…
come and dance and clap
those little hands with us
We can set the world aflame
then everyone will scream your name"
 
Those lads
they danced the Kremlin's way
ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay
they took our pants away
this is not the KGB
this pumpkin has a USB
relax and enjoy the show
When Jesus comes he'll wear the pants
until then we drink and dance this night away
 
Serfs' up
and are they angry
but we are hot stuff
let's set the world on fire
the forgotten folk are on the march
to a promised land for oligarchs
who scream their name
until one mushroom-cloudy day
when the missiles rain…