Nhoj Morley


Here comes REAL FUN for YOUR EYEBALLS in the form of an exciting new EYEBALL GAME!

Don't Look! It's EYE CONTACT!


Don't be nervous, you're already better at this you might expect. And, you won't be alone because the world is already full of players who love to play and are anxious to get a round started. Granted, all your co-players will be long-time veterans with well-honed skills. It's a challenge but also lots of FUN for YOUR EYEBALLS.

All you have to do to play is tell yourself that you're going to believe certain things. Not forever, just for the duration of the game. Then you can stop believing.

Here's the main things you have to believe to play: Everyone around you knows exactly where THEIR EYEBALLS are and, are in complete conscious control of them. The object of the game is to keep up and be in command of YOUR EYEBALLS.

If you visit a local restaurant, you will likely find a game already in progress. Don't worry, new players add immediate interest to the game for everyone playing. If you already know the restaurant and need not bother with grasping the layout of the room, you can start playing right away. New players get one free shot at the start. Look for the person who is reaching for the large shiny rectangles called menus and bringing them toward you. That's your opportunity to start with some righteous EYE CONTACT. Be quick about it, or you could lose some points right away. Look straight at the EYEBALLS of the approaching Host and make sure that YOUR EYEBALLS are aimed so that they will be clearly recognized as converging at a point just behind THEIR EYEBALLS. Don't look anywhere else without remembering this important rule of the game: Looking hither and yon for navigation is understandable and tolerated but if anyone holds THEIR EYEBALLS still for 100 milliseconds or more… well, that's not navigation, that's looking at something. It will very likely be declared as FOUL EYEBALLS.

Now you're ready to Run the Gauntlet. The host will lead you to a table which will be your play station. This will put all YOUR EYEBALLS skills to work as you simultaneously navigate the room, look like your self doing so and, establish where every EYEBALL in the room is pointing. Fair warning, lots of them will be pointing at you. Most of it will pass as FAIR EYEBALLS because you are the object that is currently moving across their field of view. By the rules, you must then leave them alone and unmolested by gaze. Some players will be a bit aggressive at their game-playing. They will want to know where YOUR EYEBALLS are pointing. That is the height of the action and where the FUN really starts.

Now we are skirting the thin line between checking out someone's EYEBALLS and making full blown EYE CONTACT. Now we can see why everyone calls this the World's Fastest Contact Sport. The Gaze Rule becomes even shorter. Don't dawdle. If you can't peg THEIR EYEBALLS in 15 milliseconds max, you could be on your way to the wrong end of EYE CONTACT. You'll lose points to your opponent. At the same time, you will be watching for anyone breaking the gaze rule at you. That's your opportunity to make righteous EYE CONTACT and score points. By the time you reach your table, your rank in the game will be on every scorecard.

Once ensconced at your station, the game takes a less intense turn as now there are lots of easy-outs for avoiding EYE CONTACT. The room is dressed up with many interesting things that are credibly something to believe another player might be interested in looking at. There might be big windows full of things to be seen looking at. Other players move about the room. There are plenty of safe zones for roving EYEBALLS to dodge to if they are just quick enough to get THEIR EYEBALLS to them. It's like playing hide-and-seek in a forest.

The object is to know where all the EYEBALLS are without losing too many points on the way. We all know the sting of having to be seen only staring at our plate for a few minutes until the penalty times-out and fades into the past. Then we can carefully creep back into the game. But there is little to compare to the sense of satisfaction of righteously knowing where ALL THE EYEBALLS ARE. You're a winner.

But don't rest on your laurels. Hardly a moment will pass before you will want to play all over again.