The Khandahar Prince was just a boywhen the wild men rose up to destroyHe saved his face with everyone He saved his farce from oblivion He was the bestest boy there ever will beThe bestest boy Our little wankie manis the bestest boy of allForever and forever Other little boys are only up to par But in everyone of ours is born a little Prince of KhandaharWe must not tame the lads in case the wild men rise againNo need to train him to behave just ask him if he can Did mommy come to heel quickly when you wailed?When your little bottom stung and your little patience failedWas she the angel of Heaven who was larger than your life?Were you the little Prince of Khandahar who played for her his pipe? Soon our prince must marry a selected bag o' bridethat hides a prize so tempting she could take him for rideMommy wouldn't taunt you or grant you pity loveor laugh behind your back like she is thinking of Did your prize come to heel quickly when you wailed?until her little bottom stung when your little patience failedWas she the devil from beyond who could end your afterlife?The Prince of Khandahar would insist she must be nothing but your wife What a silly man what a f*ck for brainsI should thank my luck so farTo think I could ever be a matchfor the Prince of Khandahar Why this lament?Why cast this hero and histales that tell and toll fromthe bottom of your memoryas a downer of a dittywith a sad little tune?Why does the story of your lifedeserve to be this lament?Because it is so lamentable
